Wednesday, September 29, 2010
so confused
been away visiting mama in the hospital
and then off to chalet and back again at night
2 days straight been to hospital and chalet
but yesterday chalet was like the worst
people were having fun and i cycle all the way to changi alone late night
i wanna have a peace of mind
today mama asked for him like 3 times
and all i cud answer is he's werking
at the back of her i'm crying
mama why u have to asked for him wen we are not already together
because of u mama i have to called him and let him noe u wanna see him
coz he never fail to visit u mama kat hospital but not this time round
aku yang halang
and mama pop out the question just now"dah tak ngan talib ke?"
then i say masih...
then she say "jangan kasi orang harapan kak dunia masih luas kat luar"
ya allah mama aku sendiri tk tau aper aku nk kene buat sekarang
2 tahun setengah mama being with him
too much that i really felt lost now
pushing myself so hard to forget all that
once u and baba dun even want me to be with him
but why wen we are not together u guys ask for him why?
and wen he called me just now no one noes how much i miss him
but i dun wanna drop any tears anymore..
i forced myself but looking at mama face i cried!
